Cleansing My Cards and My Life

I got home from work today and had this great surge of appreciation and thankfulness for the life I have.  This will (hopefully) sound commonplace for a lot of you, but those of us who aren't that lucky can tell you what a gift these kinds of days are.

I couldn't be bothered to get dressed today so I put on my roommate's skirt as a dress, threw on some blue eyeliner, and went off to work.  The day seemed so short and even regulars who can be annoying had me beaming all day. I got home to find the greatest gift waiting for me in my mailbox; the Goddess Oracle cards I've been waiting for.

When I walked through the front door, threw off my shoes and looked in the mirror, I could only think of one word; Goddess.

I felt so blessed. I've been going through a very tough time lately, and had only yesterday confided some of my trouble to my roommate, who proved over and over just how amazing she is.

I looked in my mirror, wearing what could easily be used as a tent, my hair messy and eyes red from allergies, and I just felt happy and whole.


A Goddess.

I opened up my Oracle cards and started reading the little work book inside. Based on both that and the Oracle Parlour class I took with the wonderful Veronica Varlow a few weeks ago, I gleaned that the best way to purify my deck and get it attuned to me was to hold them in my dominant hand and use my non dominant hand to touch every card.  Seeing as I am a tad OCD, I wanted to keep all the cards in order while I purified them so my first reading would be completely clean in my mind. I also figured this would be an awesome time to reconnect with the two tarot decks I own. I lit some incense and got started.

I bought Le Tarot des Femmes Erotiques years ago as my first ever deck.  I have a great love and respect for vintage ladies both as women and art so this seemed like a perfect match. I had originally planned to shuffle and pull 1 card every day until I had learned all of the cards, but life of course got in the way of such a strict routine. I toned it down  to pulling once a week, and then again to just whenever I felt the need.To this day there are cards in this deck that I have never once pulled.

My second deck is called Dreaming Way Tarot, and I got it maybe a year after my first. When I was picking these out, I was torn between this and another deck. I felt a tinge more of an affinity for the other deck, but at the last second decided to pick this one instead. Because of this, I have always felt a tiny disconnect. Also, I have never actually pulled from this deck because I was adamant that I learn the cards in my first deck before muddling it with other imagery. While I've looked through the cards before, they have stayed in their natural order for at least two years.

To make sure everything was the same (again, OCD here), I used my "touching" time with Les Tarot to actually reorder the cards. That way they were in the same natural state as my other two decks and I could purify anew. The idea behind purifying was to touch every card, maybe hold the deck to your heart, and whisper or think what you want the cards to do, or the energy you want the cards to have. I don't want to say exactly what I said, but I stuck closely with the examples in the Goddess Book which is basically "I want an honest reading that will help me in my endeavors." I then took each deck one at a time, shuffled using my non dominant hand to cut, and pulled a card.

My first ever pull from this Goddess deck was Maeve, the Goddess of Cycles and Rhythms. Underneath her image it says, "Honor the cycles of your body, energy levels, and emotions." As someone that struggles with my emotions and my darker side almost daily, it was lovely to see someone tell me to honor that, own it, and love your cycles. As I am on an up today, I have clearly begone to cycle through my emotions and start to move on. When I looked her up, her "meaning" is to love yourself, respect the changes you go through, and find someone that you are comfortable confiding in. As I have only just last night told my roommate what has been bothering me for months, I felt like this was perfectly timed.

Next, I went to my Le Tarot deck. I had already put my ladies in order, and shuffled in the same manner as I had the Goddesses. I pulled the Queen of Swords (King of Swords in most decks-Le Tarot is extremely femme based). I love this woman. I actually voiced wanting to get a tattoo of this exact card within the past week. She is strong. When my emotions flared a about a week ago, I pulled a card and it was she. She says "She Thinks the Unthinkable" and is about someone strong and complex. She is almost hyper logical to the point where it would be construed as cruelness, but the words and meaning are still important. While you might not want to face her,  she holds the answers you need. I thanked my deck and put it next the Goddess and moved on to Dreaming.

Now, as I said, I have never once pulled from Dreaming. She was in her original order and I have felt like I've neglected her in the past. Because this is the case, I will say what I asked of this deck as I touched every one of her cards. I asked her to forgive me and that while we haven't been close, I hoped that we could trust each other and she would give me the answers she felt I needed. I shuffled, pulled, and received the King of Swords. Remember how Queen in Le Tarot is the equivalent to King in most decks? I was too amazed for my jaw to drop. One of my favorite cards ever was pulled in succession in two separate decks.

You have no idea how blessed I feel and I can't stop staring at my spread.

Today as been amazing in so many ways.

Thank you for the love I feel. I hope you feel loved too, wherever you are.

Always,
Andy