Pax

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I didn't pull a card yesterday because I was emotionally and spiritually drained. In those times, I'm sure it would be extremely beneficial to have something to look to, but I wasn't ready to make peace enough to go through my deck. I also didn't want that negativity on the cards I just cleansed.

I've been having really bad insomnia lately which is also adding to the feeling of disconnect. I actually woke up around 1am last night (after falling asleep around 9ish) and freaked out my roommate who was just coming home from work. I was only half asleep and when he came through the door I still thought it was early and yelled at who I thought was a stranger entering my house.

After waking up again at 4, and falling back asleep for a couple of hours, I finally deemed it okay to get out of bed. I made some hot cocoa coffee (it's delicious if you've never tried it) and relaxed enough to pull a Goddess card.

This morning Eireen came to me. Goddess of  Peace. She says "There is no need to worry, as everything is working out beautifully."

I know, every card can probably be applied to every situation if you try hard enough. I'm not here to put on airs and pretend everything I see is gospel.

I just love seeing the magic in the days.

I was literally not at peace yesterday. I wasn't up to touching my cards and I freaked out in my own home.

Then Peace came.

It's  just nice when everything comes together.

Peace and Love Always,
Andy

Good Morning!

Morning, dear.

I hope you had good dreams.

I woke up singing a Dropkick Murphy song and I've been listening to them on repeat for the last three hours. It's quite a different environment here than it was last night.  I love that; daily differences.

Listening to my Celtic Punk, I poured myself a hot glass of homemade sangria. The warmth made my morning sweet and hopefully will bleed onto my entire day.

Normally, if I remember my dreams, I remember them the second I wake up and sometimes still think I am in them. But today, I realized belatedly that I dreamt I saw someone who's been a cause of strife for me lately.  I've dreamed of him before, and often see people I know in my dreams, but this was different. Rather than seeing something happening to him, or talking to him, I was enjoying my time, hanging with a couple of people, and I just walked passed him. I saw him, but I didn't acknowledge him. It was weird, and something that had never happened before.

I realized that in my dream, I had noticed my problem and literally moved on.

That's a pretty powerful message to  receive and I am once again grateful.

I thought the best way to top this off would be with another Oracle reading. I shuffled in my dominant hand, using my non dominant to cut the deck and I had a jumping card!

A jumping card is one that you don't necessarily draw, but slips out of the deck during shuffling.

I receive jumping cards fairly often, so it might just be that I'm a horrid shuffler, but I always like to read with them just in case; you never know!

This morning, Isis slipped right off the top of my deck.

When I was younger I was absolutely in love with Egyptian Mythology so I recognized this Goddess right away.  She says "This situation involves your past-life memories." I love Isis, but felt this card was more of a reference than my reading, so I went to pull another.

I felt my deck and didn't think it needed to be shuffled, so I simply pulled the next card off the top and it was Isthar. She says, "Boundaries, Love yourself enough to say no to others' demands on your time and energy."

This was my card.

Pairing the two together is a pretty great read. The issues I am having right now are actually extremely similar to an experience I went through ten years ago and it still hurts.  Part of my healing has been to know my limits and to try extracting myself from the narrative of others.  I think with my head rather than my heart, and I often feel like if I could do something to help out, the logical response would be to do it; but now I've seen the scars I give myself in those situations. I still like doing what I can, but I must learn that it can be healthier for me to take a step back and say no.

Love always,
Andy

Cleansing My Cards and My Life

I got home from work today and had this great surge of appreciation and thankfulness for the life I have.  This will (hopefully) sound commonplace for a lot of you, but those of us who aren't that lucky can tell you what a gift these kinds of days are.

I couldn't be bothered to get dressed today so I put on my roommate's skirt as a dress, threw on some blue eyeliner, and went off to work.  The day seemed so short and even regulars who can be annoying had me beaming all day. I got home to find the greatest gift waiting for me in my mailbox; the Goddess Oracle cards I've been waiting for.

When I walked through the front door, threw off my shoes and looked in the mirror, I could only think of one word; Goddess.

I felt so blessed. I've been going through a very tough time lately, and had only yesterday confided some of my trouble to my roommate, who proved over and over just how amazing she is.

I looked in my mirror, wearing what could easily be used as a tent, my hair messy and eyes red from allergies, and I just felt happy and whole.


A Goddess.

I opened up my Oracle cards and started reading the little work book inside. Based on both that and the Oracle Parlour class I took with the wonderful Veronica Varlow a few weeks ago, I gleaned that the best way to purify my deck and get it attuned to me was to hold them in my dominant hand and use my non dominant hand to touch every card.  Seeing as I am a tad OCD, I wanted to keep all the cards in order while I purified them so my first reading would be completely clean in my mind. I also figured this would be an awesome time to reconnect with the two tarot decks I own. I lit some incense and got started.

I bought Le Tarot des Femmes Erotiques years ago as my first ever deck.  I have a great love and respect for vintage ladies both as women and art so this seemed like a perfect match. I had originally planned to shuffle and pull 1 card every day until I had learned all of the cards, but life of course got in the way of such a strict routine. I toned it down  to pulling once a week, and then again to just whenever I felt the need.To this day there are cards in this deck that I have never once pulled.

My second deck is called Dreaming Way Tarot, and I got it maybe a year after my first. When I was picking these out, I was torn between this and another deck. I felt a tinge more of an affinity for the other deck, but at the last second decided to pick this one instead. Because of this, I have always felt a tiny disconnect. Also, I have never actually pulled from this deck because I was adamant that I learn the cards in my first deck before muddling it with other imagery. While I've looked through the cards before, they have stayed in their natural order for at least two years.

To make sure everything was the same (again, OCD here), I used my "touching" time with Les Tarot to actually reorder the cards. That way they were in the same natural state as my other two decks and I could purify anew. The idea behind purifying was to touch every card, maybe hold the deck to your heart, and whisper or think what you want the cards to do, or the energy you want the cards to have. I don't want to say exactly what I said, but I stuck closely with the examples in the Goddess Book which is basically "I want an honest reading that will help me in my endeavors." I then took each deck one at a time, shuffled using my non dominant hand to cut, and pulled a card.

My first ever pull from this Goddess deck was Maeve, the Goddess of Cycles and Rhythms. Underneath her image it says, "Honor the cycles of your body, energy levels, and emotions." As someone that struggles with my emotions and my darker side almost daily, it was lovely to see someone tell me to honor that, own it, and love your cycles. As I am on an up today, I have clearly begone to cycle through my emotions and start to move on. When I looked her up, her "meaning" is to love yourself, respect the changes you go through, and find someone that you are comfortable confiding in. As I have only just last night told my roommate what has been bothering me for months, I felt like this was perfectly timed.

Next, I went to my Le Tarot deck. I had already put my ladies in order, and shuffled in the same manner as I had the Goddesses. I pulled the Queen of Swords (King of Swords in most decks-Le Tarot is extremely femme based). I love this woman. I actually voiced wanting to get a tattoo of this exact card within the past week. She is strong. When my emotions flared a about a week ago, I pulled a card and it was she. She says "She Thinks the Unthinkable" and is about someone strong and complex. She is almost hyper logical to the point where it would be construed as cruelness, but the words and meaning are still important. While you might not want to face her,  she holds the answers you need. I thanked my deck and put it next the Goddess and moved on to Dreaming.

Now, as I said, I have never once pulled from Dreaming. She was in her original order and I have felt like I've neglected her in the past. Because this is the case, I will say what I asked of this deck as I touched every one of her cards. I asked her to forgive me and that while we haven't been close, I hoped that we could trust each other and she would give me the answers she felt I needed. I shuffled, pulled, and received the King of Swords. Remember how Queen in Le Tarot is the equivalent to King in most decks? I was too amazed for my jaw to drop. One of my favorite cards ever was pulled in succession in two separate decks.

You have no idea how blessed I feel and I can't stop staring at my spread.

Today as been amazing in so many ways.

Thank you for the love I feel. I hope you feel loved too, wherever you are.

Always,
Andy