Swords [Court Cards Included]

Alrighty guys.

This week has been nutso. Lots of work, lots of fun, TONS of weird dreams. That's right, it didn't stop with the Muppet party from last week. I had FOUR weird dreams in the last four days! And they all interacted with my reality in some way. Like, they weren't my usual acid trip dreams. Anywho, I've made notes and I'll talk about them later if you're very lucky...or unlucky. Depends on how you feel about being trapped in my subconscious.

I've also been applying to more permanent jobs down here, but I've decided to take a break from trying to figure out my online portfolio, and catch up on my tarot! This weekend is my last week of Veronica Varlow's Advanced Tarot and I still haven't even finished writing about the first! Eeek! I doubt I'll be going through the second session like I am this one, but I do want to try out the new spreads we've learned and feel a bit more confident about my readings.

So....LET'S GO

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Ace:
When was a time that you were totally in control? When you were owning everything!
I actually felt really awesome at work a few days ago. We get these special cards when we do a good job with something and I've only been off training for 5 shifts and I have 6 cards! Also a random coworker whom I'd never talked to before said I made their day just watching me do my job because I clearly enjoy it. It was super sweet :)

I'm showing off all these cards, because even though they don't all speak to me like the above idea, I think they're all gorgeous. We've got Dreaming Way, which I honestly didn't like at first. I thought this card was super boring looking. But I recently started seeing the beauty in the sword. The entire hilt looks like it's wire-wrapped, like a beautiful piece of jewelry. I think if you turn it upside down, it looks just like a lovely crystal pendant (which I've just decided I super want to make). Then there's Femmes. She doesn't look like she's celebrating, but she does look gorgeous. The caption says "The Gift of the Mind" and she just looks the definition of poised. The Joie de Vivre rings true to me because this guy is just prancing around with his sword. He just pulled it out the the stone and is in a FUCK YEAH mood. He's dancing, there's streamers, balloons, he's got a fucking cat on his head! This dude is awesome!

Two:
This card is all about indecision. What are you avoiding deciding upon?
Nothing currently, which is kind of cool haha

With Which Sword Shall I Stab a Bitch?

Three:
Speaking of stabbing bitches...
This card is all about heartbreak. Unfortunately. What song reminds you of heartbreak the most?
This might be a weird choice, but Light in Your Eyes by Blessid Union of Souls. I want to cry whenever I hear it. Time of Your Life is another one, but I actually hate that song, whereas I weirdly love Light in Your Eyes.

True, his heart has been stabbed. But he's already got his bandaid ready and is looking away from the swirling darkness, and towards the light.

Four:
Now that the worst has happened, how do you recharge?
This is. I wish I could do it more, but reading the cards and writing about my experiences helps me a lot.

Five:
This card is about a conflict between you and other person. Are you listening, or are you too busy trying to be right?
I'm one of those horrid people who needs to be right. I am upfront about it, but I know in the moment that doesn't help your feelings towards me. Please know I'll calm down and apologize if I know I've gone too far or hurt your feelings in any way.

In Order: Dreaming Way, Le Tarot des Femmes Erotiques, Joie de Vivre

I really like all of these cards because to me they show different aspects of a disagreement.  In Joie de Vivre, it is super clear that someone is maliciously hurting another. The bird woman looks angry and ready to strike while the other is bleeding. Even though the second one is holding a sword, she looks hurt or even taken aback, like, whoa, I thought we were kidding, I thought we were friends. The Femmes is maybe like you're hurting yourself. It says "Defeat of the Mind," and the woman looks like she's hiding away in shame. Maybe she hurt herself. Maybe she knows she hurt someone she cares about. Maybe she's licking her wounds after an offensive attack. Then there's Dreaming Way. Someone looks upset in the background, but the guy in the foreground thinks everything's just peachy. Maybe he's congratulating himself on a win, or maybe he doesn't even realize he won at all; he thinks it's all good not realizing he hurt someone.

Six:
When have you had to leave something painful behind in order to move on to better things?
I know I'm a broken record, but this past year. I've moved on from a lot of things. I actually moved out on what was my one year anniversary of my start, and tomorrow is the anniversary of my middle. I'm really hoping that once I get to the anniversary of the end I'll be healed. Even better is if I don't notice. After everything that happened, even though I constantly remind myself of the bad, I am really happy now. I'm in a different state, with a different job, with different prospects, and I'm doing well. What else could I ask for?

Seven:
Deception. Serious issues. Has anyone ever hidden something from you, and you found out? Did you feel it instinctively?
Yes and yes. Nothing as horrible as some of the stories I've heard, but I've always had pretty good instincts. I always say I'm a good friend, but I'm not the first person you tell your problems to, I'm the last. Generally when people tell someone a problem first off, it's cause they want sympathy or assurance. I am super bad at that and I cut through the bullshit. That being said, when someone is avoiding a topic or a conversation, I generally know what's up. Again, nothing majorly awful has happened to me (knock on wood), but my instincts are usually looking out for me in the tiniest things.

Eight:
This card is the self doubt we face every day. The bad things We tell ourselves. What are some things you like about yourself to combat it?
I like...that I am determined. That I have good friends. I am well trained in my craft and people seem to like it. I am pretty both inside and out (most of the time). I see things through even if it takes time. I am a good friend and I always try.
I really love this card because the woman in it looks like Louise Brooks, the silent film star. On the bottom it says, "Disillusionment," which I thought was a bad thing initially, like disenchantment. But no, it means you're seeing things for what they are, and what they are is AMAZING.

Nine:
"FEAR is Forgetting that Everything is All Right" - Thank you Witchmama.
Is there a time you freaked out over nothing?
Yesterday, actually. I was talking to one of my friends at work and she was working in the sun and wasn't feeling well. I offered to get her water or give her a short break so that she could go inside, but she refused and just kept saying that she hoped she'd be transferred inside soon. A few minutes later, I saw one of our bosses, and while we were talking I mentioned the girl by the cart. I said she told me she wasn't feeling well, and I meant to tell him that I wouldn't mind taking her spot outside. He suddenly go very curt and told me to go see if she needed any water. I got super stressed and thought maybe he thought I was gossiping, or being a brown noser, or trying to make this other girl look bad and was upset for a couple of hours. Later, I saw a different boss and once she saw me, she just said (also very curtly), "Andy. Come with me." I had a knot in my stomach the whole walk because she didn't say anything to me the entire way. I kept having to tell myself to breath, and as I'd just been watching the Swords video before I got to work, I kept trying to remind myself it was probably nothing. Turns out she just needed two extra hands to do something and wasn't into small talk at that moment, because she was pleasant the whole way back. By the end of the day, that first boss even mentioned in front of other coworkers that it was clear I loved my job. I literally was sick all day because of this nonsense in my head! 

Ten:
What helps to pick you up when you're down?
My friends. My cards. Doing things that make me happy :)
I really like this card because while both of my other decks are mad depressing, this bitch is already in her Pick Me Up phase. Underneath her it reads, "End of Delusion." She is smiling so knowingly, that to me it's like, "That's right bitches, playtime is over. You had me for a second, but I am back and better than ever!"

Note: The Court Cards have a similar meaning throughout the suits.

Page (Novice):

The Pages! Ideas! Logic! Bam! Boom!

They may not have started the journey, but they're planning the routes out in their minds.

This guy is my biffle. The meticulous planner who doesn't actually have much follow through. That's okay though, the journey in the mind is pretty sweet.

I love these cards! Joie de Vivre looks so stab happy, like he is ready! Then there's my calm Femme, who is just like, "You stick to your petty little argument, I'll be here looking up scholarly sources like the Credible Hulk I am." Then there's Dreaming Way, who looks like she's contemplating whether stabbing you will help or hurt her cause.  

Pictured: The Credible Hulk

Knight (Lady)
Annnd they're off! The journey has started and they are slashing through some bullshit to get to the end!


Queen (Chatelaine)
Damn. These bitches don't mess around. They are fiercely protecting you from the badness out there as well as the badness within. Don't upset Mama Sword, you will not live for long after.
I definitely relate to this mama most of the time. I try to use my logic for good, and remind those around me that everything is all right, even if I don't always believe it myself.

Look at that evil smirk! She's just daring you to try to mess. She's even using a previous protester as a fashion accessory! Whoa!

King (Queen)
This guy has overcome some shit and he wants you to do the same! Believe in him, and you'll arrive safely at your destination.
I really look up to anyone who reminds me of the King. He's using his experience (in my mind's story, he just finished being the Ten of Swords) and is trying to help those around him either avoid the same situation, or move on after living it.

Please tell me ya'll remember this biddy. Does she even need an introduction??


Lots of Love,
Andy <3

Pentacles [Court Cards Included]

So...I apparently had a manic moment a few weeks ago as I wrote and shared 3 posts in 1 day. And every time I've tried to write since then I haven't felt peaceful enough to do so. These past 2 weeks have also been extremely busy as I have successfully moved and have started training at my new job.

I also generally prefer to pull cards alone; it just helps me concentrate and is a form of meditation for me. So going from having my own place for almost a year to being in a house/dorm of women and rooming with someone was a bit of a shock in that sense. Even if I felt confident in myself to draw a card, I didn't necessarily want an audience.

But I've gotten over that as my roommate is not 10 ft from me and I am here, with you, drawing my cards :)

Right off the bat, I pull a Goddess card. I did pull one right before I left, but did not have time to jot it down. I pulled Diana previously, which is all about aiming for your goals. She says Focused Intention at the top, and at the bottom, "Keep your unwavering thoughts, feelings, and actions focused on your target, and you will make your mark." Now, today, I have pulled Aine; 'Leap of Faith.' Funnily enough, I saw her when I pulled Diana 2 weeks ago; I just took a peak at the deck before I pulled and there she was. So, here she is, saying Hi again. Underneath her it says, Take a risk, and put your heart's true desire into action!"

Although read 2 weeks apart, they can both be easily interpreted as me jumping into this new job in a new area without knowing anyone. And I was nervous, but I really am enjoying it. The job is easy (for me it's kind of old hat) and the people are nice.

I will say I love the imagery of Aine. I think that's why I remember seeing her 2 weeks ago. She's a pink and purple fairy diving into the sky with clouds and what looks like lightning glowing around her. She's gorgeous.

[Sorry she's blurry >.<  ]

 Now, onward to some pentacles! I'm gonna take a look through the handy dandy notebook Veronica Varlow gave during her Tarot Intensive (as of this date you can still sign up!!) as I look through all three of my decks to see what jumps at me. I will not be posting photos of every card (could you imagine? Whoa).

As always, all questions are paraphrased from the Witch Mama.

Ace: 
What can you start doing immediately to make your dream a reality?
I like to think I'm doing it! I'm training at my job and networking to hopefully move up the chain soon :)

 I do want to point out that in my Dreaming Way Tarot, my Pentacle is floating in midair above a field, much like the Hand of God in the R/W deck. In my Joie de Vivre deck, a pentacle is growing like a seed, feeding off love and stars, much like the seed VeVa said is the inspiration to start to grow whatever you desire. In my Erotique deck, it says "The Gift of Work in the World" and it shows a woman lounging with a large Pentacle that looks like a shield.

Two:
How can you improve the balance in your life? 
As I've stated before, I need more work than play, but when I play, I've got to play hard haha My ideal week would be most of the sunlight hours spent working, but spending any time with the moon with my friends or on my own relaxing. Since I'm just starting out, a lot of my time is spent training for my job and sleeping. I get the next two days off though so I'm excited to spend the time running around the parks.

Three:
Who would you love to collaborate with? What would you bring to the table?
I honestly don't know. I love people, but I have yet to find people that I would want to be on a working team with every time. No dream team for me yet. I, in general, bring logic and objectivity to any group setting, which is not always relished.

In my Dreaming Way Deck this card is hard to read as it just has 1 person staring out of the card, while three Pentacles fall. There is no feeling of teamwork for me in this image; maybe it's stating that you're lonely and need that team desperately?

Four:
Do you feel like you're holding too tightly to material things? Can you give anything away?
No...and yes. I've definitely figured out how to operate on less since I've been moving around lately, but I am a hoarder by nature. Lately, though, I think I am happy with what I've got and for the moment, I spend my money on experiences.

Five:
This card is about lacking in some way and not recognizing the good in your life. What are somethings you are grateful for?
I am grateful for my friends and the fact that I have these opportunities to travel and try new things at this time in my life. I'm glad I have family supporting me. Growing up I had one of the only "stable" families in my friend group and even now I know a lot people that don't have that support.

Seen Below: In the Erotiques deck, the Four says "Miserliness" and Five just says "Poverty" so those in succession always made me nervous. I'm glad I understand them more.

Six:
How can you give to make the world a better place? How can you open up to receiving life's gifts?
I think I am bad at both of these things. I love giving gifts to friends and family, but I don't think that necessarily means I am making the world a better place. I think I am giving of my time and I am interested in anything which means I am open to listening and sharing...but I don't know. I need to be more open to receiving in general, I think...

The Erotique deck has such a great photo. A woman tearing down her suspenders, holding them up by the straps like straight pimpin'. Underneath is says "Easy Money" haha Come at me Bro.

Seven:
What are you proud of? What can you clear out to make more space for what you love? What else would you like to do?

I am proud of how far I've come this year. I think I've opened up to more people these last few months than I have in my previous 23 years. I am definitely still holding on to things, but it's getting easier to loosen my grip and to talk about them without getting upset (even though I've only skirted the subjects on here I think the blog has helped a lot). I would love to keep moving forward in my life.

At first I thought it was kind of strange/out of place, but I think the Dreaming Way tarot shows this card clearly. It shows a woman carrying six shopping bags with Pentacles on them, not really weighed down at all, just carrying them home. Her eyes, however, are looking over her shoulder, where there is a seventh Pentacle floating behind her. She seems to be evaluating what she can let go of in order to snatch a different Pentacle.



Eight: 
What do you love to do so much that you lose track of time?
Just crafts, really. I still have the idea of my shop floating in my head and I think that once I get settled back in my real life with all my machines and half finished projects I can really get a move on. I still have a lot to learn but am super excited about the idea :)

Joie de Vivre has a fox/wizard making a potion in the forest and he's wearing mismatched stockings and I think I love him <3

Nine:
How do you spoil yourself?
I honestly just lounge around naked haha. Drink coffee, walk around, pull cards in bed...as long as I'm naked I just feel so comfortable while also feeling like I'm treating myself to a little naughty, or taboo time haha ;)

Ten:
What has made you feel successful? What does that look like for you?
Well in true pentacle form, success looks like financial independence to me. I don't know why; I've been lucky and never really lacking (knock on wood), but I'd love to be able to solely rely on myself. And the completion of any project feels like a success to me. Like completing the pentacles tonight! I am such a procrastinator, that if I finish something on my own time (you know-not work or deadline related) then I feel awesome.

Erotiques looks so down with this card. One woman is staring knowingly into the camera while another is helping cover her nude body with a robe. The bottom says "Wealth Forever."

Note: The Court Cards have a similar meaning throughout the suits.

Page (Novice):
The Page is dreaming of ways to make that money! Learning and trying out new skills.
I think I am definitely still in the Novice stage. I know what I want, and while I am planning my moves, nothing is tangible yet. I can't wait to take that next step!

Knight (Lady):
This guy is one his way to making that dream a reality! He's on the horse and on the move.
I think I currently look up to anyone who embodies the Knight or Lady. It's hard to get out of that first stage, but once you get moving is when you're taking chances and really going for your dreams.

That 'On the horse' phrase makes me giggle because in Erotiques it just shows a woman lounging in bed with the phrase "She Earns her Way" haha Get it, girl.

Queen (Chatelaine):
The Queen is making sure your plans are being followed through. She is protecting this project of yours :)
The Queen/Chatelaine and Page/Novice are ones that I love deeply. It's the dreamer and the protector. I switch in and out of those roles fairly often and I get alone well with those who can relate to both of those sides.       *Erotiques straight up says "She Controls the Money."

King (Queen):
The King is owning this shit. You are there. Making that money and doing what you love!
 I find the King, the completer, hard to relate to at the moment. As I said, I'm a procrastinator so any small finish line is huge for me. While I know the King still works hard to keep what he's got, I just see him as someone who's figured it out (at least for now), and that's so not me right now.

Nighty night guys, love and luck as always,
Andy <3

Ryde or Die

When I was writing the first 2 Homework Set posts, I was in San Francisco visiting a friend with whom I've lost touch with over the years, but who has re-entered my life in a big way in the last few months.

While I was there, I got to know my friend's roommate, J, fairly well. He flashed me his phone at lunch one day and I saw the words "Ryde or Die" on his header. I mentioned it, and he said he didn't have a header and it definitely didn't say that, which confused me because I could have sworn that's what I saw. Anyway, I let it go; not that big a deal.

During my visit, I also got to know J's girlfriend. She Loves the Fast and Furious series, which I've actually never seen. She then told me she lives by the FF tagline, "Ride or Die" and that she has a hat with that slogan on it for when she needs a pick-me-up.

I didn't connect the two until later because, not only was I writing the homework sets in San Fran, but I was also watching my Parlour videos, some for the first time. And there again was the message; The Lovers: Ride or Die.

*mind explosion*

My friend and I...got together during my time there. We've been talking pretty exclusively for a couple months now, but we both decided we shouldn't make anything of it, because we live across the country from one another, and I'm moving for a new job even further away for a couple months. But we said if I were to ever move closer, we would keep that in our back pocket.  We've already made plans to do a cross country road trip and steal all the dogs together. Even if it's just a lot of silly talk, it's so much fun to have these kinds of "plans."

I don't recall ever pulling The Lovers card, and in my homework set, when it asked who my Ride or Die buddies were, I said I didn't have any. Just because I've never quite felt that huge pull before. I have amazing friends, don't get me wrong, but I'm a fairly lone character, and I dig it that way.

But of course, the day I return home from my trip, Tuesday the 11th, who is there to greet me?

*trumpet noise* BUM BA DA DA!

 

"The Soul's Deepest Need" 

Regardless of how this shakes out, maybe he's my soul's bestie. At least for the time being. I mean, how often is it that two people will not talk for over 5 years, only to fly cross country to spend time together?

That's kind of fucking awesome.

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So, for this post I also pulled a Goddess card. And I got Maeve AGAIN!

I don't know; I'm starting to think she likes me, guys.

She looks super relaxed, and dancing, like she's painting with her wand on the water.

I wonder what Cycles and Rhythms are coming for me...

Lots of Love,
Andy <3

Pick Three: Homework Set 2.5

Very simple assignment. Look through all your cards, and without necessarily looking for the names or meanings, pick 3 that call to you.

I looked through each card in the deck, setting aside all the ones that called to me in a pinch. Then from there, I looked through the actual photos, trying not to look at the name, and picked again until I got my three.

In the end, I actually ended up with four.

And they are........*drumroll*

VII The Chariot "Enjoy the Ride"
XIV Temperance "Love Transforms You"
8 of Pentacles "Apprenticeship"
II The Witch (High Priestess in more traditional decks) "Intuition will Reveal"

  

Now, The Witch was the cutoff. It was going to be just the three above her, but something was telling me not to put her away just yet.

Weirdly enough, I rarely pull any of these cards. I have pulled both the Chariot and Temperance before, but I think it was about two years ago when I first bought this deck. I thought hadn't pulled the 8 of Pentacles, but then I realized I've just never pulled it from this particular deck. This is the card I pulled and made a watercolor out of from my Dreaming Way Tarot.

 

It doesn't look like much, but it did help me remember the card.

After looking at just the three again, I realized that this was basically a reading. I'd just gone over the previous homeworks and learned what the Major Arcana meant so everything was still nice and fresh. 

The Chariot: I'm in control of my life and where I go from here.

Temperance: Balance is key to a happy and fulfilling life. 

8 of Pentacles: Apprenticeship, learning a new craft or skill.

I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but, I'm leaving soon to start a brand new job that I've been working towards for years. I'm finally getting to go where I want to go. And I keep referring to this new job as a paid vacation to my friends because the company is open basically 24/7 and I'm only going to work 40 hours a week. While I'm down there I have to learn how to function with only half of my week planned. Will I use my free time actually relaxing, or will I get another job like I've been thinking about? In my last post, when I went over the Temperance card, I said my perfect balance has more work than play. Maybe I'll learn to relax in the coming months; who knows? :)

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Now. When I was mulling over the best way to pick three cards, and the fact that it should be based on artwork, not technically meaning, I realized that I now own three decks.

My Main deck is Le Tarot Des Femmes Erotiques, with whom I've bonded greatly. 

My second is The Dreaming Way Tarot, with whom I've got an amiable relationship. 

And my third and newest deck is the Joie De Vivre tarot, which I just picked up on Monday on my last day of vacation! I opened her tonight specifically so I could do this...

I was going to discard immediate meanings, and pick one card from each deck so that I could see what was currently calling me without worrying about the artwork because they would all be different.

And THAT'S why I was holding on to my Witchy mama. She wasn't in my three, because she was my one; my individual.

I opened Joie de Vivre after setting aside my Femmes, and then looked through Dreaming Way.

Joie De Vivre,      Le Tarot Des Femmes Erotiques,      Dreaming Way

And who's that I see? Why, it's The High Priestess, the 'normal' equivalent to my Witch. And next? The Magician, of course!

Looks like I've got my two mystical parents looking over me this late night. I've got all the skills and drive I need to dance my way towards my heart's desire.

Have a lovely night,

Andy <3

Respecting the Moon and her Cycles

Tuesday the 4th, at 12:08am I pulled my first tarot cards in Far too long.

I have been a part of Veronica Varlow's Tarot Intensive course, but am sorry to say I have not been keeping up with my homework or even the classes. I have been out of state every week since it started, and 5 different cities. While I wish I have been a better student, I do love watching everyone else progress and learn. It's a lot of fun to interact with people that are learning at a similar pace as you, and since I'm one of the few that have experience reading (simply meaning that I have been looking to cards for a while and am self taught), I still get to throw in my two cents along the way.

On Tuesday when I pulled cards in the early morning, The Moon slipped right off the top of the deck while I was trying to decide how to feel the shuffle. The Moon is a gorgeous card in most decks, but I adore the woman in mine. She is sitting with her knees up, angled away from me, lifting a sheer white curtain around her backside. Breathtaking and playful. Underneath she says there is "A Turning in the Journey."

Since I didn't quite feel she was my card, but more of a guide, I shuffled and pulled. Who was there to greet me? But the Queen of Swords of course! My number one lady and clearly a magnet card for me. She once again tells me "She Thinks the Unthinkable." My strong, logically lady telling me I am behind and need to get my shit sorted.

So here I am, two days later, on a different coast, trying to get my shit sorted.

I also wanted to say that this morning, before my flight, I pulled a Goddess Card, which I haven't done in an even longer time than the tarot.

This morning I pulled Maeve; the very first Goddess I pulled with my deck.

Underneath her dancing form it says, "Honor the cycles of your body, energy levels, and emotions." I think that while she was saying it's okay not to have kept up; lately I've been meaning to but have had a feeling of ick I didn't want on my cards, it is about that time to get over it, and get my bum back in gear.

Basically, everyone's telling me I gottta werk, bitch.

I want to shout out to VeVa again because she has started an instagram pull where she has 3 cards, you choose whichever one you feel drawn to, and then she posts a reveal. So cool; she's awesome. So I found out I was drawn to the Fool, which is kind of a hidden card for me. I'm a big planner, and while intuitive, I dislike not knowing what I'm doing. But I am now on the opposite coast for the first time in years, taking a spontaneous journey to see someone I haven't seen since high school! All planned within the past week!

She also did an August read for all the Zodiac signs which was spot on as usual. Tying in with my "logical, needs structure" type of life, I am a Capricorn and she pulled 3 of Wands for us.  That card, as stated in her video is all about rocking your shit OUT, traveling maybe, working hard and getting to where you want to be! Again, I am on a brand new trip this very second, but I am also moving to a completely different area for a new job before the month is out. It's a place I've been trying to get a job at for 4 YEARS and it's happening now, this August. Much love to Veronica Varlow and that lady's Danger Diary.

You can find those videos and by extension, the rest of her blog right here!

Lots of love and luck,
Andy <3

Cleansing My Cards and My Life

I got home from work today and had this great surge of appreciation and thankfulness for the life I have.  This will (hopefully) sound commonplace for a lot of you, but those of us who aren't that lucky can tell you what a gift these kinds of days are.

I couldn't be bothered to get dressed today so I put on my roommate's skirt as a dress, threw on some blue eyeliner, and went off to work.  The day seemed so short and even regulars who can be annoying had me beaming all day. I got home to find the greatest gift waiting for me in my mailbox; the Goddess Oracle cards I've been waiting for.

When I walked through the front door, threw off my shoes and looked in the mirror, I could only think of one word; Goddess.

I felt so blessed. I've been going through a very tough time lately, and had only yesterday confided some of my trouble to my roommate, who proved over and over just how amazing she is.

I looked in my mirror, wearing what could easily be used as a tent, my hair messy and eyes red from allergies, and I just felt happy and whole.


A Goddess.

I opened up my Oracle cards and started reading the little work book inside. Based on both that and the Oracle Parlour class I took with the wonderful Veronica Varlow a few weeks ago, I gleaned that the best way to purify my deck and get it attuned to me was to hold them in my dominant hand and use my non dominant hand to touch every card.  Seeing as I am a tad OCD, I wanted to keep all the cards in order while I purified them so my first reading would be completely clean in my mind. I also figured this would be an awesome time to reconnect with the two tarot decks I own. I lit some incense and got started.

I bought Le Tarot des Femmes Erotiques years ago as my first ever deck.  I have a great love and respect for vintage ladies both as women and art so this seemed like a perfect match. I had originally planned to shuffle and pull 1 card every day until I had learned all of the cards, but life of course got in the way of such a strict routine. I toned it down  to pulling once a week, and then again to just whenever I felt the need.To this day there are cards in this deck that I have never once pulled.

My second deck is called Dreaming Way Tarot, and I got it maybe a year after my first. When I was picking these out, I was torn between this and another deck. I felt a tinge more of an affinity for the other deck, but at the last second decided to pick this one instead. Because of this, I have always felt a tiny disconnect. Also, I have never actually pulled from this deck because I was adamant that I learn the cards in my first deck before muddling it with other imagery. While I've looked through the cards before, they have stayed in their natural order for at least two years.

To make sure everything was the same (again, OCD here), I used my "touching" time with Les Tarot to actually reorder the cards. That way they were in the same natural state as my other two decks and I could purify anew. The idea behind purifying was to touch every card, maybe hold the deck to your heart, and whisper or think what you want the cards to do, or the energy you want the cards to have. I don't want to say exactly what I said, but I stuck closely with the examples in the Goddess Book which is basically "I want an honest reading that will help me in my endeavors." I then took each deck one at a time, shuffled using my non dominant hand to cut, and pulled a card.

My first ever pull from this Goddess deck was Maeve, the Goddess of Cycles and Rhythms. Underneath her image it says, "Honor the cycles of your body, energy levels, and emotions." As someone that struggles with my emotions and my darker side almost daily, it was lovely to see someone tell me to honor that, own it, and love your cycles. As I am on an up today, I have clearly begone to cycle through my emotions and start to move on. When I looked her up, her "meaning" is to love yourself, respect the changes you go through, and find someone that you are comfortable confiding in. As I have only just last night told my roommate what has been bothering me for months, I felt like this was perfectly timed.

Next, I went to my Le Tarot deck. I had already put my ladies in order, and shuffled in the same manner as I had the Goddesses. I pulled the Queen of Swords (King of Swords in most decks-Le Tarot is extremely femme based). I love this woman. I actually voiced wanting to get a tattoo of this exact card within the past week. She is strong. When my emotions flared a about a week ago, I pulled a card and it was she. She says "She Thinks the Unthinkable" and is about someone strong and complex. She is almost hyper logical to the point where it would be construed as cruelness, but the words and meaning are still important. While you might not want to face her,  she holds the answers you need. I thanked my deck and put it next the Goddess and moved on to Dreaming.

Now, as I said, I have never once pulled from Dreaming. She was in her original order and I have felt like I've neglected her in the past. Because this is the case, I will say what I asked of this deck as I touched every one of her cards. I asked her to forgive me and that while we haven't been close, I hoped that we could trust each other and she would give me the answers she felt I needed. I shuffled, pulled, and received the King of Swords. Remember how Queen in Le Tarot is the equivalent to King in most decks? I was too amazed for my jaw to drop. One of my favorite cards ever was pulled in succession in two separate decks.

You have no idea how blessed I feel and I can't stop staring at my spread.

Today as been amazing in so many ways.

Thank you for the love I feel. I hope you feel loved too, wherever you are.

Always,
Andy