Swords [Court Cards Included]

Alrighty guys.

This week has been nutso. Lots of work, lots of fun, TONS of weird dreams. That's right, it didn't stop with the Muppet party from last week. I had FOUR weird dreams in the last four days! And they all interacted with my reality in some way. Like, they weren't my usual acid trip dreams. Anywho, I've made notes and I'll talk about them later if you're very lucky...or unlucky. Depends on how you feel about being trapped in my subconscious.

I've also been applying to more permanent jobs down here, but I've decided to take a break from trying to figure out my online portfolio, and catch up on my tarot! This weekend is my last week of Veronica Varlow's Advanced Tarot and I still haven't even finished writing about the first! Eeek! I doubt I'll be going through the second session like I am this one, but I do want to try out the new spreads we've learned and feel a bit more confident about my readings.

So....LET'S GO

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Ace:
When was a time that you were totally in control? When you were owning everything!
I actually felt really awesome at work a few days ago. We get these special cards when we do a good job with something and I've only been off training for 5 shifts and I have 6 cards! Also a random coworker whom I'd never talked to before said I made their day just watching me do my job because I clearly enjoy it. It was super sweet :)

I'm showing off all these cards, because even though they don't all speak to me like the above idea, I think they're all gorgeous. We've got Dreaming Way, which I honestly didn't like at first. I thought this card was super boring looking. But I recently started seeing the beauty in the sword. The entire hilt looks like it's wire-wrapped, like a beautiful piece of jewelry. I think if you turn it upside down, it looks just like a lovely crystal pendant (which I've just decided I super want to make). Then there's Femmes. She doesn't look like she's celebrating, but she does look gorgeous. The caption says "The Gift of the Mind" and she just looks the definition of poised. The Joie de Vivre rings true to me because this guy is just prancing around with his sword. He just pulled it out the the stone and is in a FUCK YEAH mood. He's dancing, there's streamers, balloons, he's got a fucking cat on his head! This dude is awesome!

Two:
This card is all about indecision. What are you avoiding deciding upon?
Nothing currently, which is kind of cool haha

With Which Sword Shall I Stab a Bitch?

Three:
Speaking of stabbing bitches...
This card is all about heartbreak. Unfortunately. What song reminds you of heartbreak the most?
This might be a weird choice, but Light in Your Eyes by Blessid Union of Souls. I want to cry whenever I hear it. Time of Your Life is another one, but I actually hate that song, whereas I weirdly love Light in Your Eyes.

True, his heart has been stabbed. But he's already got his bandaid ready and is looking away from the swirling darkness, and towards the light.

Four:
Now that the worst has happened, how do you recharge?
This is. I wish I could do it more, but reading the cards and writing about my experiences helps me a lot.

Five:
This card is about a conflict between you and other person. Are you listening, or are you too busy trying to be right?
I'm one of those horrid people who needs to be right. I am upfront about it, but I know in the moment that doesn't help your feelings towards me. Please know I'll calm down and apologize if I know I've gone too far or hurt your feelings in any way.

In Order: Dreaming Way, Le Tarot des Femmes Erotiques, Joie de Vivre

I really like all of these cards because to me they show different aspects of a disagreement.  In Joie de Vivre, it is super clear that someone is maliciously hurting another. The bird woman looks angry and ready to strike while the other is bleeding. Even though the second one is holding a sword, she looks hurt or even taken aback, like, whoa, I thought we were kidding, I thought we were friends. The Femmes is maybe like you're hurting yourself. It says "Defeat of the Mind," and the woman looks like she's hiding away in shame. Maybe she hurt herself. Maybe she knows she hurt someone she cares about. Maybe she's licking her wounds after an offensive attack. Then there's Dreaming Way. Someone looks upset in the background, but the guy in the foreground thinks everything's just peachy. Maybe he's congratulating himself on a win, or maybe he doesn't even realize he won at all; he thinks it's all good not realizing he hurt someone.

Six:
When have you had to leave something painful behind in order to move on to better things?
I know I'm a broken record, but this past year. I've moved on from a lot of things. I actually moved out on what was my one year anniversary of my start, and tomorrow is the anniversary of my middle. I'm really hoping that once I get to the anniversary of the end I'll be healed. Even better is if I don't notice. After everything that happened, even though I constantly remind myself of the bad, I am really happy now. I'm in a different state, with a different job, with different prospects, and I'm doing well. What else could I ask for?

Seven:
Deception. Serious issues. Has anyone ever hidden something from you, and you found out? Did you feel it instinctively?
Yes and yes. Nothing as horrible as some of the stories I've heard, but I've always had pretty good instincts. I always say I'm a good friend, but I'm not the first person you tell your problems to, I'm the last. Generally when people tell someone a problem first off, it's cause they want sympathy or assurance. I am super bad at that and I cut through the bullshit. That being said, when someone is avoiding a topic or a conversation, I generally know what's up. Again, nothing majorly awful has happened to me (knock on wood), but my instincts are usually looking out for me in the tiniest things.

Eight:
This card is the self doubt we face every day. The bad things We tell ourselves. What are some things you like about yourself to combat it?
I like...that I am determined. That I have good friends. I am well trained in my craft and people seem to like it. I am pretty both inside and out (most of the time). I see things through even if it takes time. I am a good friend and I always try.
I really love this card because the woman in it looks like Louise Brooks, the silent film star. On the bottom it says, "Disillusionment," which I thought was a bad thing initially, like disenchantment. But no, it means you're seeing things for what they are, and what they are is AMAZING.

Nine:
"FEAR is Forgetting that Everything is All Right" - Thank you Witchmama.
Is there a time you freaked out over nothing?
Yesterday, actually. I was talking to one of my friends at work and she was working in the sun and wasn't feeling well. I offered to get her water or give her a short break so that she could go inside, but she refused and just kept saying that she hoped she'd be transferred inside soon. A few minutes later, I saw one of our bosses, and while we were talking I mentioned the girl by the cart. I said she told me she wasn't feeling well, and I meant to tell him that I wouldn't mind taking her spot outside. He suddenly go very curt and told me to go see if she needed any water. I got super stressed and thought maybe he thought I was gossiping, or being a brown noser, or trying to make this other girl look bad and was upset for a couple of hours. Later, I saw a different boss and once she saw me, she just said (also very curtly), "Andy. Come with me." I had a knot in my stomach the whole walk because she didn't say anything to me the entire way. I kept having to tell myself to breath, and as I'd just been watching the Swords video before I got to work, I kept trying to remind myself it was probably nothing. Turns out she just needed two extra hands to do something and wasn't into small talk at that moment, because she was pleasant the whole way back. By the end of the day, that first boss even mentioned in front of other coworkers that it was clear I loved my job. I literally was sick all day because of this nonsense in my head! 

Ten:
What helps to pick you up when you're down?
My friends. My cards. Doing things that make me happy :)
I really like this card because while both of my other decks are mad depressing, this bitch is already in her Pick Me Up phase. Underneath her it reads, "End of Delusion." She is smiling so knowingly, that to me it's like, "That's right bitches, playtime is over. You had me for a second, but I am back and better than ever!"

Note: The Court Cards have a similar meaning throughout the suits.

Page (Novice):

The Pages! Ideas! Logic! Bam! Boom!

They may not have started the journey, but they're planning the routes out in their minds.

This guy is my biffle. The meticulous planner who doesn't actually have much follow through. That's okay though, the journey in the mind is pretty sweet.

I love these cards! Joie de Vivre looks so stab happy, like he is ready! Then there's my calm Femme, who is just like, "You stick to your petty little argument, I'll be here looking up scholarly sources like the Credible Hulk I am." Then there's Dreaming Way, who looks like she's contemplating whether stabbing you will help or hurt her cause.  

Pictured: The Credible Hulk

Knight (Lady)
Annnd they're off! The journey has started and they are slashing through some bullshit to get to the end!


Queen (Chatelaine)
Damn. These bitches don't mess around. They are fiercely protecting you from the badness out there as well as the badness within. Don't upset Mama Sword, you will not live for long after.
I definitely relate to this mama most of the time. I try to use my logic for good, and remind those around me that everything is all right, even if I don't always believe it myself.

Look at that evil smirk! She's just daring you to try to mess. She's even using a previous protester as a fashion accessory! Whoa!

King (Queen)
This guy has overcome some shit and he wants you to do the same! Believe in him, and you'll arrive safely at your destination.
I really look up to anyone who reminds me of the King. He's using his experience (in my mind's story, he just finished being the Ten of Swords) and is trying to help those around him either avoid the same situation, or move on after living it.

Please tell me ya'll remember this biddy. Does she even need an introduction??


Lots of Love,
Andy <3