Parlour Trick

Hello there, loves.

I hope everyone is well.

Sorry I haven't been around very much. I still love my job, but it means I am up by 6am and in bed before 9pm most days and I am just too tired from enjoying my day to check in with you (and myself).

Today is my day off and I celebrating by finally watching Week 5 of my Advanced Tarot class.
I was originally planning on just doing one big traditional spread to try reading the cards, but the second I saw this new spread, I got super excited.

First off, I pulled a Goddess card. And I did it a little differently than I have in the past, but I really liked it and I think it worked out well for me.

So I shuffled my cards in the usual way a couple of times, but it just wasn't feeling right. So I did something which has started feeling really natural to me of late, which is to take all of the cards (face down), and one by one just put them into different piles in any order I choose. Maybe I'll do 3 piles, maybe I want to do 5.  I just do what feels natural at the time. Then I just layer over the piles every other card in the deck. In any order. It's not like dealing in poker where you go a certain direction so everyone ends with the same amount, I just lay them as I feel.

Afterwards, I was planning on putting them one on top of each other to create one full deck again. Instead, I decided to merge this with some of our intuition exercises and just hovered my hand over each pile. When I found that I really had a magnet pile that felt awesome, I just turned over the top card, as though that was where I had cut the deck.

So, who came to see me today? A lovely new visitor named Oonagh.

 

She says "There is no need to hurry or force things to happen. Everything is occurring in perfect timing," which is a really lovely thing to hear.

As you may have noticed, one of my constants is saying that I have all these plans and I need time to get them off the ground and it's going to happen soon...blah blah blah.

But the thing is, that's very true. I want it to happen now, but I realize that now is simply not the time. I cannot set up an online/postal business while I live in temporary housing and I don't know what state (location wise) I'll be in by the end of the year. But I keep freaking out like VeVa was saying in the Week 4 video, I keep thinking I'm a fraud and if I don't do it know people will think I'm all talk. I seriously cannot wait to start, but I have to make do with being in a holding pattern for now.

After that, I started shuffling my Dreaming Way tarot, the usual way. The first card that Jumped out, was The Lovers. As I was trying the Parlour Spread, I wasn't really sure what to do with it. Should I leave it out, as a guiding card? Should I do a different, simple 3 card spread? But, no, this felt right. The center card for me was going to be the Lovers. I am alone a lot of the time and don't really connect romantically with people. But within this past year or so, I've been really lonely. I have been looking for my other half. My ride or die. The person I mentioned previously is not out in a bad way, but there's a time change and different schedules between us. As we didn't want to make it official for fear of ruining things, we kind of let it drift, which is sad to me. So, while not necessarily applicable at this very moment, I am looking and I am hopeful.

So there I am. Me. The Lovers. 

I kept shuffling and shuffling and had 2 more pop out, in this order, The Page of Wands and Page of Swords. I used those as my cards 2 and 3. 

I shuffled a bunch more with no more jumpers and eventually was ready to pull from the top. I got the Queen of Swords and then the Knight of Swords.

Holy moly.

 

So let's see here. We've got 1 Major, 4 Court Cards, and 3 Swords.

This is a crazy reading.

I am the Lovers, as stated above. 

My past is all about finding things I'm passionate about and getting into that amazing magical head space. I love that and it is pretty true; I get excited about every new thing I learn and my mind goes crazy about all the things I can do with it. 

In space number 3, my magic is the Page of Swords. This is also pretty accurate. I have probably [definitely] mentioned before that I am that person that says no to Bullshit. I am uber logical which is a blessing and a curse. It makes it hard for me to connect to people sometimes, but at the same time it is what draws people to me. It is why I can be an important part in people's lives. The people that get it, and need it, are keepers. I don't have a huge group of friends, but the one's I do have, have been with me for over a decade.

What can my Parlour loves help me out with? SUPER CUTTING THROUGH THE SHIT. We are such an awesome support group and I love it. Whenever one of us is down, or not feeling good about ourselves, or a bunch of random awful shit is going down like it was this past week, every single one of us jumps up and says NO, THAT IS BULL, YOU ARE AWESOME AND WE WILL FIX THIS. I find that fucking amazing.

My current lesson? I need to fucking get on the horse. Which I say every time, but this time, paired with Oonagh, I don't feel pressured. My magic is the dreamy logic of the Page. I need to take it to the next level, but do it when it feels right. Feeling pressured to go out and buy all the things, to buy a set up I have no use for and just let it sit here for months until I have time and space is not logical. I have time; but I need to have faith that I will do it.

That's all for now. How did you think I did? How would you read this spread?
 
**PS I super duper love that the shape of the spread looks like it mimics the Lovers card. It just looks...perfect to me.

Lots of Love and Luck,
Andy <3

Wands! [Court Card Included]

Hazzah!

Finally!

Let's get to it!

*cue six hour break for poor food choices and bathing*

Ace:
What new creativity do you want to bring into your life?
All of the creativity! Once again, my online store is in it's infancy. I keep getting more and more ideas and practical ways to start it up, which is really cool.

 

I love this woman. So damn sexual and passionate. "The Gift of Passionate Power," you better believe it. Look at her lounging, and just soaking up all that goodness!

Two:
What does holding the world in the palm of your hand mean to you?
Me, living alone or with a good friend, where we create everyday. I want a magical room for spells and for sewing. Making a living, or a profitable hobby out of my crafts.

Three:
What steps can you take to make the above dream a reality?
I keep feeling like I can't do anything while I'm away from home and not making much money, but I guess all the research I've been doing counts as a step towards my dreams. I hope to take physical steps sooner rather than later.

Four:
What can you celebrate RIGHT NOW?
My job! I am enjoying it way more than I thought I would when I first got my assignment and I am super grateful.

I dig these Femmes because, while most decks show a family, or an inner child scenario, this just shows two people who care for each other. Underneath is says "Completion." Maybe you completed the next step in your powerful, passionate journey! Maybe you're just at peace with your bestie and can rest while it's all good. You choose.

Five:
When have you felt you were in competition with other people in your life?
Not often, honestly, which is really nice. Maybe it's because I think with my head more than my heart (Capricorn), that I don't often find myself in competition with others. I definitely get into arguments for the same reason, but I rarely view it as it's them or me.

 

I really like all these cards, because once again, I think they show difference aspects of a conflict. In the Joie de Vivre tarot, you see this random guy with a dragon? on his head facing off against a tree! What? If you look closely, neither one looks particularly angry, just kind of annoyed they have to go through this Again. Like, come on man, are you kidding me? Just let me by! In Femmes, a woman is tied with a pearl chain, and she says "Strife." She doesn't look hurt, just stuck and inconvenienced. Maybe she's trapped herself with her thoughts? Maybe someone she trusted decided to get ahead and leave her in the dust. Then there's Dreaming Way, which I think it the most clear, but also the most silly. Maybe it's the hats, but they just remind me of young boys at a birthday party fighting over a toy or party game. They're all arguing and that guy in the middle looks super exasperated. Again, not angry, just kind of flustered, like, Come on guys! It's MY birthday! Give it!

Six:
When did you last OWN THAT SHIT?
I guess these past few months job hopping around. I was actually thinking about this earlier today; even though I don't currently have a "real" or "adult" job for all the schooling I've done, I feel like I've proven a lot of my naysayers wrong. I've wanted to work for my current company since at least 2010 and at the time I had a lot of toxic professors who didn't believe in me and made that fact known. They said I wouldn't be successful in my field and that I wouldn't be able to work in high end arenas or at this company unless I did everything the way they wanted me to. Instead I took the leap to leave them behind, worked for a number of higher end companies and finally snagged the job I've wanted for years.


Seven:
When was a time you held your ground to get what you wanted out of life?
I guess the above is a pretty good example of that. At the time, it felt like I was folding, like I was proving my awful professors right by leaving their school, but looking back, I knew that they couldn't give me what I wanted, or support me how I needed, so I stood by my goals and won in the end.

I really like this card from Dreaming Way, because instead of it looking like a "King of the Hill" situation like i the other decks, this chick looks like she is POLE VAULTING over her competition. Nope, I'm out! Peace!

Eight:
Do you believe in signs? Have you ever received any powerful ones?
Yes, I definitely do. I'm pretty sure that I have, but I'm honestly in a bit of fuzz right now and can't think of a specific moment. I don't see this as a sign of anything in particular, but I do want to share that I was visited by my spirit animal yesterday. Which is really weird as this specific spirit animal is a Sting Ray. I took VeVa's spirit animal guide Parlour way back when and for my water element, I kept thinking of a sting ray, which I found very strange at the time. I assumed it would be something a little more mainstream(?) like a turtle, or even a mermaid! But a Sting Ray kept coming to me. Then, yesterday, I went to a fancy restaurant that had a huge aquarium inside, and we were seated right by the tank! About halfway through our meal, one of the larger Sting Rays floated on down and laid right next to use for at least 10 minutes. I was so happy and giggly the whole time. He was super cute.

I've pointed this little guy out before. He's just so dang cute! He's taking his shining light and his awesome skills and setting a rocket for success! Things aren't working out? No worries, he'll find his own creative space.

Nine:
When has something taken a lot of effort and fight, but worked out for you in the end?
My job! Again! 

 

I really love guy. Look at everything he's been through! He's got scars, even an eye-patch! But what else does he have? Love and energy shining through his heart; a tree of progress in his belly; and a wicked smile saying he's not done just yet!

Ten:
What cures you of stress? 
This; hanging out, relaxing, taking me time. I am someone that works best when super busy, so that sometimes means I forget to do anything else. I need to be more aware of my body and its limits sometimes.

Note: The Court Cards have a similar meaning throughout the suits.

Page (Novice)
This guy is getting his creative juices flowing. Can't wait to explode with awesome maker energy!
I think I am constantly 'stuck' at the Page stage. I am always planning, but need to work at getting better at doing. I have so many ideas, so many passions, once I start I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop!

 

I really dig all of these guys.  The bunny from Joie de Vivre is ABOUT IT. Fuck someone else throwing him a parade, he IS THE PARADE and he's gonna rock his newest passion! My Femmes lady just says "Catalyst" and is ready to start working! Then there's calm Dreaming Way. She's got water/intuition galore and is super zen. She is alive with thoughts of love.

Knight (Lady)
Make your passion a reality! No one can stop you once you get moving!

Queen (Chatelaine)
This mama is protecting your fire. Let the knight and your projects flourish, the mama will make sure your haters never get near enough to extinguish your flame!
I look up to this lady so much. She is amazing, and willing to help you out anyway she can.

 

I really enjoy that all of the Queens have a major earthy feel. They're all about nurturing and growing your passion so that it can get to it's beautiful conclusion. Even Femmes, which just has two woman speaking softly says, "Friend of Women." While that might not seem all that intriguing, I think the women look like muses and they're discussing your future and the amazing things you're gonna create.

King (Queen)
Man, that project is BOMB! You pulled it off so well and everyone's impressed. You're owning that shit like Beyonce would want you to.


Lots of Love,
Andy <3

Swords [Court Cards Included]

Alrighty guys.

This week has been nutso. Lots of work, lots of fun, TONS of weird dreams. That's right, it didn't stop with the Muppet party from last week. I had FOUR weird dreams in the last four days! And they all interacted with my reality in some way. Like, they weren't my usual acid trip dreams. Anywho, I've made notes and I'll talk about them later if you're very lucky...or unlucky. Depends on how you feel about being trapped in my subconscious.

I've also been applying to more permanent jobs down here, but I've decided to take a break from trying to figure out my online portfolio, and catch up on my tarot! This weekend is my last week of Veronica Varlow's Advanced Tarot and I still haven't even finished writing about the first! Eeek! I doubt I'll be going through the second session like I am this one, but I do want to try out the new spreads we've learned and feel a bit more confident about my readings.

So....LET'S GO

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Ace:
When was a time that you were totally in control? When you were owning everything!
I actually felt really awesome at work a few days ago. We get these special cards when we do a good job with something and I've only been off training for 5 shifts and I have 6 cards! Also a random coworker whom I'd never talked to before said I made their day just watching me do my job because I clearly enjoy it. It was super sweet :)

I'm showing off all these cards, because even though they don't all speak to me like the above idea, I think they're all gorgeous. We've got Dreaming Way, which I honestly didn't like at first. I thought this card was super boring looking. But I recently started seeing the beauty in the sword. The entire hilt looks like it's wire-wrapped, like a beautiful piece of jewelry. I think if you turn it upside down, it looks just like a lovely crystal pendant (which I've just decided I super want to make). Then there's Femmes. She doesn't look like she's celebrating, but she does look gorgeous. The caption says "The Gift of the Mind" and she just looks the definition of poised. The Joie de Vivre rings true to me because this guy is just prancing around with his sword. He just pulled it out the the stone and is in a FUCK YEAH mood. He's dancing, there's streamers, balloons, he's got a fucking cat on his head! This dude is awesome!

Two:
This card is all about indecision. What are you avoiding deciding upon?
Nothing currently, which is kind of cool haha

With Which Sword Shall I Stab a Bitch?

Three:
Speaking of stabbing bitches...
This card is all about heartbreak. Unfortunately. What song reminds you of heartbreak the most?
This might be a weird choice, but Light in Your Eyes by Blessid Union of Souls. I want to cry whenever I hear it. Time of Your Life is another one, but I actually hate that song, whereas I weirdly love Light in Your Eyes.

True, his heart has been stabbed. But he's already got his bandaid ready and is looking away from the swirling darkness, and towards the light.

Four:
Now that the worst has happened, how do you recharge?
This is. I wish I could do it more, but reading the cards and writing about my experiences helps me a lot.

Five:
This card is about a conflict between you and other person. Are you listening, or are you too busy trying to be right?
I'm one of those horrid people who needs to be right. I am upfront about it, but I know in the moment that doesn't help your feelings towards me. Please know I'll calm down and apologize if I know I've gone too far or hurt your feelings in any way.

In Order: Dreaming Way, Le Tarot des Femmes Erotiques, Joie de Vivre

I really like all of these cards because to me they show different aspects of a disagreement.  In Joie de Vivre, it is super clear that someone is maliciously hurting another. The bird woman looks angry and ready to strike while the other is bleeding. Even though the second one is holding a sword, she looks hurt or even taken aback, like, whoa, I thought we were kidding, I thought we were friends. The Femmes is maybe like you're hurting yourself. It says "Defeat of the Mind," and the woman looks like she's hiding away in shame. Maybe she hurt herself. Maybe she knows she hurt someone she cares about. Maybe she's licking her wounds after an offensive attack. Then there's Dreaming Way. Someone looks upset in the background, but the guy in the foreground thinks everything's just peachy. Maybe he's congratulating himself on a win, or maybe he doesn't even realize he won at all; he thinks it's all good not realizing he hurt someone.

Six:
When have you had to leave something painful behind in order to move on to better things?
I know I'm a broken record, but this past year. I've moved on from a lot of things. I actually moved out on what was my one year anniversary of my start, and tomorrow is the anniversary of my middle. I'm really hoping that once I get to the anniversary of the end I'll be healed. Even better is if I don't notice. After everything that happened, even though I constantly remind myself of the bad, I am really happy now. I'm in a different state, with a different job, with different prospects, and I'm doing well. What else could I ask for?

Seven:
Deception. Serious issues. Has anyone ever hidden something from you, and you found out? Did you feel it instinctively?
Yes and yes. Nothing as horrible as some of the stories I've heard, but I've always had pretty good instincts. I always say I'm a good friend, but I'm not the first person you tell your problems to, I'm the last. Generally when people tell someone a problem first off, it's cause they want sympathy or assurance. I am super bad at that and I cut through the bullshit. That being said, when someone is avoiding a topic or a conversation, I generally know what's up. Again, nothing majorly awful has happened to me (knock on wood), but my instincts are usually looking out for me in the tiniest things.

Eight:
This card is the self doubt we face every day. The bad things We tell ourselves. What are some things you like about yourself to combat it?
I like...that I am determined. That I have good friends. I am well trained in my craft and people seem to like it. I am pretty both inside and out (most of the time). I see things through even if it takes time. I am a good friend and I always try.
I really love this card because the woman in it looks like Louise Brooks, the silent film star. On the bottom it says, "Disillusionment," which I thought was a bad thing initially, like disenchantment. But no, it means you're seeing things for what they are, and what they are is AMAZING.

Nine:
"FEAR is Forgetting that Everything is All Right" - Thank you Witchmama.
Is there a time you freaked out over nothing?
Yesterday, actually. I was talking to one of my friends at work and she was working in the sun and wasn't feeling well. I offered to get her water or give her a short break so that she could go inside, but she refused and just kept saying that she hoped she'd be transferred inside soon. A few minutes later, I saw one of our bosses, and while we were talking I mentioned the girl by the cart. I said she told me she wasn't feeling well, and I meant to tell him that I wouldn't mind taking her spot outside. He suddenly go very curt and told me to go see if she needed any water. I got super stressed and thought maybe he thought I was gossiping, or being a brown noser, or trying to make this other girl look bad and was upset for a couple of hours. Later, I saw a different boss and once she saw me, she just said (also very curtly), "Andy. Come with me." I had a knot in my stomach the whole walk because she didn't say anything to me the entire way. I kept having to tell myself to breath, and as I'd just been watching the Swords video before I got to work, I kept trying to remind myself it was probably nothing. Turns out she just needed two extra hands to do something and wasn't into small talk at that moment, because she was pleasant the whole way back. By the end of the day, that first boss even mentioned in front of other coworkers that it was clear I loved my job. I literally was sick all day because of this nonsense in my head! 

Ten:
What helps to pick you up when you're down?
My friends. My cards. Doing things that make me happy :)
I really like this card because while both of my other decks are mad depressing, this bitch is already in her Pick Me Up phase. Underneath her it reads, "End of Delusion." She is smiling so knowingly, that to me it's like, "That's right bitches, playtime is over. You had me for a second, but I am back and better than ever!"

Note: The Court Cards have a similar meaning throughout the suits.

Page (Novice):

The Pages! Ideas! Logic! Bam! Boom!

They may not have started the journey, but they're planning the routes out in their minds.

This guy is my biffle. The meticulous planner who doesn't actually have much follow through. That's okay though, the journey in the mind is pretty sweet.

I love these cards! Joie de Vivre looks so stab happy, like he is ready! Then there's my calm Femme, who is just like, "You stick to your petty little argument, I'll be here looking up scholarly sources like the Credible Hulk I am." Then there's Dreaming Way, who looks like she's contemplating whether stabbing you will help or hurt her cause.  

Pictured: The Credible Hulk

Knight (Lady)
Annnd they're off! The journey has started and they are slashing through some bullshit to get to the end!


Queen (Chatelaine)
Damn. These bitches don't mess around. They are fiercely protecting you from the badness out there as well as the badness within. Don't upset Mama Sword, you will not live for long after.
I definitely relate to this mama most of the time. I try to use my logic for good, and remind those around me that everything is all right, even if I don't always believe it myself.

Look at that evil smirk! She's just daring you to try to mess. She's even using a previous protester as a fashion accessory! Whoa!

King (Queen)
This guy has overcome some shit and he wants you to do the same! Believe in him, and you'll arrive safely at your destination.
I really look up to anyone who reminds me of the King. He's using his experience (in my mind's story, he just finished being the Ten of Swords) and is trying to help those around him either avoid the same situation, or move on after living it.

Please tell me ya'll remember this biddy. Does she even need an introduction??


Lots of Love,
Andy <3

Dream a Little Dream of...Attractive Men and Muppets?

Alright, for those of you who don't know, my dreams are always either batshit crazy, or super mundane. There is no in between. Guess which category last night's fell into?

I have been binge watching Supernatural the last few weeks, so there's your prelude, kind of (no, this is not a naughty dream).

_______________________________________________________________

I wake up in a trailer with Jared (Sam) and Jensen (Dean) and other members of the crew. I am a part of it. I am the female lead on the show, which if you watch it at all, you know there isn't one (other than Ruby-I'm in the beginning of Season 5). So I'm a small, but important and reoccurring character. And apparently Jared and I have been dancing around something.

We all share a small living situation. A room with a bunch of separate beds, a small kitchen, bathroom and other little necessities. We all live in one trailer, like a traveling musical group rather than actors. In our bedroom, Jensen's bed is to my right, Jared's is by my feet, one of my real life friends (though I'm not sure which-let's say 'Jane' so that I can refer to her later) is to my left, and there are others around for the crew, managers, etc.

We're on set one day, and I am just tired of this dancing, so I call Jared over, fix his tie, pull him down, and just give him a quick peck on the lips. He looks super surprised so I'm a bit embarrassed, and I leave to do my scene.

Jump to that night, and we're all in bed like little kids, tucked in and waiting on a bedtime story.

Jared, slides under my covers from the foot of my bed, all the way up to me. And he kisses me. Super simple, no intense, gross makeout session. Just kind of testing where we stand. We're being quiet, but you know, we're all close together and there's a very large person in my bed. Our manager walks in by the foot of Jensen's bed holding a clipboard and starts going through what we accomplished that day and our schedule for tomorrow. And then she starts handing out Superlatives (think High School, senior year). I don't know if they're cast votes, or audience. It would make more sense for them to be audience, but I'm not sure. She gets to me and I am voted the Most Likely to be a Supernatural Slut. I let out a very indignant "Hey," and Jensen starts giggling, as again, I do have a large man in my bed. No on says anything, however, except for people to project that it's obviously a joke or they don't know me very well.

Jump to later the next day and we're all in the kitchen, watching Jared attempt to cook. He's got some sort of greens in a pan and is cooking them with a kind of chili sauce. We all jokingly make fun of him for not really knowing what he's doing.

After dinner we lie in bed together and Jared starts talking about preparing chicken breasts properly, but is making it super sexual. My mom's on set that day so even though she knows we're kind of together, I keep interjecting whenever it get's too out of hand to make it clear we're talking about chicken.

You know how dreams can jump and change subject matter with no warning? That's what happens next.

I am still in a trailer with friends, including Jane and I think I am still part of Supernatural, but that's no longer a concern for me. It feels really distant.

It's nighttime and I decide to go out dancing with my real life college friend Michael, whom I don't see very often, and Jane. We go out to a club, and the Muppets are the performers. It's more Jazz than club music, but everyone's still dancing wild. Michael and I have always had a solid real world connection and we split off to dance. We talk about how cool it must be to be a Muppet, because you get all this fame without people really knowing who you are (we mean the puppeteers and voices, even though we can't see them) and also that they get access to these kinds of ridiculous gigs, like when Miss Piggy was a judge on Project Runway. Michael and I have awesome rhythm and are dancing like pros, with lots of spins, dips, and turns. It's a lot of fun and soon Michael and I are getting a little too close. Both in the real world and in my dream, he has a girlfriend. But in the dream, it didn't seem like either of us wanted to care.

I feel like this was part of my Supernatural dream because first off, Jane was in both parts, even if I don't remember who she actually is. Also, I was thinking about Jared while on the dance floor. Not like I was actively cheating on him if we were a couple, or in a distant way thinking of a break up or falling out. I just kind of had him on my mind every once in a while.

I have never knowingly been with anyone who had a significant other and I had that thought in my dream too, but I was rationalizing with Michael that I wasn't [insert real name here], I was [insert stage name here], so it didn't count.

I don't remember if anything actually happened between us, but I do know we danced til close, including doing something akin to the Electric Slide haha. The Muppets were shutting down their set and heading out. I saw Statler and Waldorf (the hecklers) leave and Sweetums too on his bike. They were heading to this big party full of debauchery and it was really strange to hear them talking about it.

 Picture these guys talking about a sex party at your own risk.

As we were leaving the club, we jumped into a cab, but realized Jane wasn't with us. The cab had rows and rows of empty seats, so we asked him to wait, while we called for our friend. I saw my best friend from home, Lauren, and her sister waiting in line to get into another cab and for some reason I didn't want to call to her. I think I was embarrassed to be out with Michal since he has a girlfriend.

We waited for Jane for a few minutes, but then without warning, the cabby drove off. As we left, we saw a bunch of Muppets chickens being crazy and partying in the street.

And that, my dears, was my messed up dream.

All the best, from my crazy mind to yours,
Andy  <3

Cups [Court Cards Included]

Yesterday was such a wonderfully lazy day, I was super tempted to repeat it today. But, alas, I have things to do and should get back into the habit of waking up early as my shift starts at 8 tomorrow morning. Boo.

Since I pulled my Goddess cards so late on Monday night, I did not feel I needed to pull one yesterday. But today I have two! My Goddesses love to repeat themselves.

First off, I shuffle a bunch, and while I don't usually like to peak at the bottom card (I personally shuffle and pull from the top only), I felt the urge to take a quick glance. Who was there? Why MAEVE of course. I have pulled her 3 times since reading for my blog and it was funny to see such a familiar face. You can read more about the times I pulled her here, here and here.

After pulling from the top, who was there but Diana! The very same Goddess that I mentioned in my Pentacles post just this past Monday. Hello, darling.

Naturally, I said hey, and then shuffled some more and pulled another.

A completely new love popped up to say Hi. White Tara, Sensitivity. Underneath her she says, "You are becoming increasingly sensitive. Avoid harsh relationships, environments, situations, and chemicals."

This card may seem weirdly specific, and that's what I thought when I saw her when I went through all my cards initially. However, she is extremely fitting for what is going through my life right now, in a number of ways.

This is my second week living in Florida. While I've visited here before, I was usually out doing things with my family. Too much movement to see if this new climate was effecting my body in a new way. What I've so far learned is that the humidity is awful for my allergies and that I can apparently get a cold from the air conditioning even when it's at 75 degrees. I've been coming here for at least 15 years, but I'm learning things about my body that I had previously been blind to.

Another thing is, as I mentioned in my Pentacles post, I am getting better at opening up to people in general. Last night, I was in an extremely introspective mood. I was deeply considering writing about these issues and past experiences that I have thus far so purposefully skirted around. I got in touch with an online counselor. I am coming to terms with the things that I've been through. One of the things that I've constantly felt is that I haven't been through something traumatic, so I haven't the right to write about it. I don't like the idea of painting myself as a victim because unless I fall into one of my dark moods, I don't think that I am, and I think putting it out in the world would make me seem like I'm screaming for attention. Clearly, I'm still talking in circles. But I'm accepting that people have different thresholds and I have every right to share what is on my mind, just like it is everyone else's right to simply not read it.

I have yet to share any of my writings except for in the Parlour (Intensive) because these people just seem safe, and like the least judgmental group I've ever been a part of. I will hopefully share more in my blog, and in turn share my blog to the outside world soon. I like to think I am getting there.

Now, let's move on to Cups, shall we?

Ace:
What are some things that make you want to propose a toast to Life?
Well, let me see...definitely my lazy days. Yesterday was magical. I wanted to go swimming but was too cold, so you know what I did? Took a 3 hour bath and just lounged and splashed. It was glorious.
Hmmm what else...Friendship of course. And luck. I have a very good friend here in Florida whom I just met a week ago. I always seem to have good luck with my roommates. I have been randomly placed with people 4 times now and every time my roommate is a gem.
Another one...I'm going to lump family in with friendship so...my traveling experiences! I've been so lucky as of late to have to the freedom and support to wander off willy nilly and plop down in a space of my choosing :)

Two:
Who do you want to toast to? Who makes you feel completely accepted?
Currently, it would have to be my SF friend. We haven't spoken as much since my move, lots of different things moving around so it's hard for us to coordinate, but he's probably the person I've confided in most these past few months and I've yet to feel him judge me

In order, Le Tarot des Femmes Erotiques, Dreaming Way, and Joie de Vivre.

I really like this card in every deck as they each show a completely different idea of companionship or love. In Erotiques, it is two women who just look like they are completely enjoying one another's company. They also seem to be doing a balancing act of some kind, each keeping the other in check. In Dreaming Way, there is a man and a woman who do seem to be literally toasting each other. Unless you count the shape of the smoke, there doesn't seem to be a literal translation of romantic feelings. The owls in Joie de Vivre seem very much in love, however. They are in symmetry, or balance like in Erotiques, but also have heart hanging over their heads, with two cups overflowing with water (intuition) at their feet.


Three: 
Who is in your gang?
Don't have one at the moment; I'm working on it.

I LOVE my femmes card because it looks like 3 ladies just went on an interpretive dance spree. That's what my future gang will look like, for sure.

Four:
What are somethings that you aren't quite as grateful for as you should be? Things that happen on the daily that you forget are gifts?
Kindness, shelter, a job.

Five:
When depression hits, what is there to snap you out of it?
Usually I just let it run it's course, honestly. I do know that my friends are there for me, but I just prefer to go it alone, be depressed until I'm so sick of it that I just walk towards that bridge and head to the castle.

Six:
Six is all about nostalgia and bringing out your inner child. What do they want to do right now? Is there a happy memory that instantly brings you back?
My inner child love to just dance and run around. Explore, draw. Whenever I feel like I need a break, I throw on some music and dance around my house. I think a lot of my early good memories are just about time with my family, going to the movies or out to dinner together. It's peaceful, and when I'm in a funk like in the Five of Cups, doing those activities alone help me out a bunch.

Seven:
Lots of options and creativity! What are some of the things running through your mind?!
I always have projects in mind. Knitting, sewing, painting, blogging, my future store...the key is to actually make a move on something if you want it to happen. My procrastination is a huge problem for me, I rarely ever work on personal projects. I like to think I am getting better at blogging though :)

I love the Dreaming Way 7 of Cups. I think it illustrates the idea of options and creativity super well. It also looks like it can go hand in hand with the different suits. There's coins (pentacles), cups (the woman looks like she's flying to me), wands (maybe the smoke? Fire, making things happen) and swords (the snake). I also see different activities; dreams, flying, a castle or home, a crown for making decisions, the snake for poisonous actions...etc.

Eight:
This card is about moving on and finding what works for you. Examples?
This entire year has been my moving on from a bad situation. No looking back.

"Bye, Felicia"

The Joie de Vivre card is great, I think. A lot of 8 of Cups cards depict someone leaving the cups. This deck has someone using his cups to escape. He didn't have what he wanted so he inverted his cups to create something new and took flight. I love that he also looks happy about this decision, I think that's important.

Nine:
Your heart's desires are coming true! What do you wish for?!
Shhh, it's a secret ;)

Ten:
MAGIC IS HAPPENING! WHAT DO YOU FANTASIZE?
I haven't mentioned my new job title cause I could get in trouble if I mix my two lives too much, but lemme just say DISNEY WORLD. I work for the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH and I've only been applying here for 4 years. MAGIC BABY!

Note: The Court Cards have a similar meaning throughout the suits.

Page (Novice):
The Page is dreaming of love and life and happiness! She's the daydreamer who isn't necessarily paying attention, but has a head full of thoughts.

I love my Femmes card because...just look at her! Dreamy. Underneath, she says "Unexpected Love."
Dreaming Way is pretty cool too. I think she looks sad, which I never liked before, but if you actually look at the picture as a whole, she is filling her cup with her thoughts. Her head is literally dripping with intuition!
Me and the Page are biffles. Dreaming up new things and new loves is just about my favorite past time haha!

Knight (Lady):
This lady is on it. She's starting that journey and wants to make your dreams come true!

Queen (Chatelaine):
I think the Queen of Cups is super important. She's the protector. She's protecting your heart and your dreams. She's allowing that Page to keep on daydreaming.
I think that right now I really relate to the Queen of Cups. She is protecting me and my feelings, while also helping me to grow. I've already started my journey and am doing what I enjoy, but I haven't completed anything yet. I'm working on it.

King (Queen):
The king is there! You've fulfilled your dreams and are doing what makes you happy!

I love how all of these cards look as they don't just seem to have reached their goal, but they seem set on helping you (or others) reach it too.
Look at Femmes. Underneath her it says "She Who Offers Love," and she looks like she's just waiting for you to pop down next to her on the bed and share some delicious tea and cookies. The King in Dreaming Way is sitting alone, but he's got a nice, knowing smile like he'd happily help you up or get you your own floating throne. And then there's the Joie de Vivre. He looks like a witch doctor to me and in one hand he's got a cup/bowl full or magic, while his other is beckoning you to come forward and get some magic of your very own.
I definitely admire the King right now. Some people get what they want and that's it; this guy is intent on sharing the wealth, so to speak.

Hope you enjoyed my stories today :)

Lots of love and luck,
Andy <3

Pentacles [Court Cards Included]

So...I apparently had a manic moment a few weeks ago as I wrote and shared 3 posts in 1 day. And every time I've tried to write since then I haven't felt peaceful enough to do so. These past 2 weeks have also been extremely busy as I have successfully moved and have started training at my new job.

I also generally prefer to pull cards alone; it just helps me concentrate and is a form of meditation for me. So going from having my own place for almost a year to being in a house/dorm of women and rooming with someone was a bit of a shock in that sense. Even if I felt confident in myself to draw a card, I didn't necessarily want an audience.

But I've gotten over that as my roommate is not 10 ft from me and I am here, with you, drawing my cards :)

Right off the bat, I pull a Goddess card. I did pull one right before I left, but did not have time to jot it down. I pulled Diana previously, which is all about aiming for your goals. She says Focused Intention at the top, and at the bottom, "Keep your unwavering thoughts, feelings, and actions focused on your target, and you will make your mark." Now, today, I have pulled Aine; 'Leap of Faith.' Funnily enough, I saw her when I pulled Diana 2 weeks ago; I just took a peak at the deck before I pulled and there she was. So, here she is, saying Hi again. Underneath her it says, Take a risk, and put your heart's true desire into action!"

Although read 2 weeks apart, they can both be easily interpreted as me jumping into this new job in a new area without knowing anyone. And I was nervous, but I really am enjoying it. The job is easy (for me it's kind of old hat) and the people are nice.

I will say I love the imagery of Aine. I think that's why I remember seeing her 2 weeks ago. She's a pink and purple fairy diving into the sky with clouds and what looks like lightning glowing around her. She's gorgeous.

[Sorry she's blurry >.<  ]

 Now, onward to some pentacles! I'm gonna take a look through the handy dandy notebook Veronica Varlow gave during her Tarot Intensive (as of this date you can still sign up!!) as I look through all three of my decks to see what jumps at me. I will not be posting photos of every card (could you imagine? Whoa).

As always, all questions are paraphrased from the Witch Mama.

Ace: 
What can you start doing immediately to make your dream a reality?
I like to think I'm doing it! I'm training at my job and networking to hopefully move up the chain soon :)

 I do want to point out that in my Dreaming Way Tarot, my Pentacle is floating in midair above a field, much like the Hand of God in the R/W deck. In my Joie de Vivre deck, a pentacle is growing like a seed, feeding off love and stars, much like the seed VeVa said is the inspiration to start to grow whatever you desire. In my Erotique deck, it says "The Gift of Work in the World" and it shows a woman lounging with a large Pentacle that looks like a shield.

Two:
How can you improve the balance in your life? 
As I've stated before, I need more work than play, but when I play, I've got to play hard haha My ideal week would be most of the sunlight hours spent working, but spending any time with the moon with my friends or on my own relaxing. Since I'm just starting out, a lot of my time is spent training for my job and sleeping. I get the next two days off though so I'm excited to spend the time running around the parks.

Three:
Who would you love to collaborate with? What would you bring to the table?
I honestly don't know. I love people, but I have yet to find people that I would want to be on a working team with every time. No dream team for me yet. I, in general, bring logic and objectivity to any group setting, which is not always relished.

In my Dreaming Way Deck this card is hard to read as it just has 1 person staring out of the card, while three Pentacles fall. There is no feeling of teamwork for me in this image; maybe it's stating that you're lonely and need that team desperately?

Four:
Do you feel like you're holding too tightly to material things? Can you give anything away?
No...and yes. I've definitely figured out how to operate on less since I've been moving around lately, but I am a hoarder by nature. Lately, though, I think I am happy with what I've got and for the moment, I spend my money on experiences.

Five:
This card is about lacking in some way and not recognizing the good in your life. What are somethings you are grateful for?
I am grateful for my friends and the fact that I have these opportunities to travel and try new things at this time in my life. I'm glad I have family supporting me. Growing up I had one of the only "stable" families in my friend group and even now I know a lot people that don't have that support.

Seen Below: In the Erotiques deck, the Four says "Miserliness" and Five just says "Poverty" so those in succession always made me nervous. I'm glad I understand them more.

Six:
How can you give to make the world a better place? How can you open up to receiving life's gifts?
I think I am bad at both of these things. I love giving gifts to friends and family, but I don't think that necessarily means I am making the world a better place. I think I am giving of my time and I am interested in anything which means I am open to listening and sharing...but I don't know. I need to be more open to receiving in general, I think...

The Erotique deck has such a great photo. A woman tearing down her suspenders, holding them up by the straps like straight pimpin'. Underneath is says "Easy Money" haha Come at me Bro.

Seven:
What are you proud of? What can you clear out to make more space for what you love? What else would you like to do?

I am proud of how far I've come this year. I think I've opened up to more people these last few months than I have in my previous 23 years. I am definitely still holding on to things, but it's getting easier to loosen my grip and to talk about them without getting upset (even though I've only skirted the subjects on here I think the blog has helped a lot). I would love to keep moving forward in my life.

At first I thought it was kind of strange/out of place, but I think the Dreaming Way tarot shows this card clearly. It shows a woman carrying six shopping bags with Pentacles on them, not really weighed down at all, just carrying them home. Her eyes, however, are looking over her shoulder, where there is a seventh Pentacle floating behind her. She seems to be evaluating what she can let go of in order to snatch a different Pentacle.



Eight: 
What do you love to do so much that you lose track of time?
Just crafts, really. I still have the idea of my shop floating in my head and I think that once I get settled back in my real life with all my machines and half finished projects I can really get a move on. I still have a lot to learn but am super excited about the idea :)

Joie de Vivre has a fox/wizard making a potion in the forest and he's wearing mismatched stockings and I think I love him <3

Nine:
How do you spoil yourself?
I honestly just lounge around naked haha. Drink coffee, walk around, pull cards in bed...as long as I'm naked I just feel so comfortable while also feeling like I'm treating myself to a little naughty, or taboo time haha ;)

Ten:
What has made you feel successful? What does that look like for you?
Well in true pentacle form, success looks like financial independence to me. I don't know why; I've been lucky and never really lacking (knock on wood), but I'd love to be able to solely rely on myself. And the completion of any project feels like a success to me. Like completing the pentacles tonight! I am such a procrastinator, that if I finish something on my own time (you know-not work or deadline related) then I feel awesome.

Erotiques looks so down with this card. One woman is staring knowingly into the camera while another is helping cover her nude body with a robe. The bottom says "Wealth Forever."

Note: The Court Cards have a similar meaning throughout the suits.

Page (Novice):
The Page is dreaming of ways to make that money! Learning and trying out new skills.
I think I am definitely still in the Novice stage. I know what I want, and while I am planning my moves, nothing is tangible yet. I can't wait to take that next step!

Knight (Lady):
This guy is one his way to making that dream a reality! He's on the horse and on the move.
I think I currently look up to anyone who embodies the Knight or Lady. It's hard to get out of that first stage, but once you get moving is when you're taking chances and really going for your dreams.

That 'On the horse' phrase makes me giggle because in Erotiques it just shows a woman lounging in bed with the phrase "She Earns her Way" haha Get it, girl.

Queen (Chatelaine):
The Queen is making sure your plans are being followed through. She is protecting this project of yours :)
The Queen/Chatelaine and Page/Novice are ones that I love deeply. It's the dreamer and the protector. I switch in and out of those roles fairly often and I get alone well with those who can relate to both of those sides.       *Erotiques straight up says "She Controls the Money."

King (Queen):
The King is owning this shit. You are there. Making that money and doing what you love!
 I find the King, the completer, hard to relate to at the moment. As I said, I'm a procrastinator so any small finish line is huge for me. While I know the King still works hard to keep what he's got, I just see him as someone who's figured it out (at least for now), and that's so not me right now.

Nighty night guys, love and luck as always,
Andy <3

Ryde or Die

When I was writing the first 2 Homework Set posts, I was in San Francisco visiting a friend with whom I've lost touch with over the years, but who has re-entered my life in a big way in the last few months.

While I was there, I got to know my friend's roommate, J, fairly well. He flashed me his phone at lunch one day and I saw the words "Ryde or Die" on his header. I mentioned it, and he said he didn't have a header and it definitely didn't say that, which confused me because I could have sworn that's what I saw. Anyway, I let it go; not that big a deal.

During my visit, I also got to know J's girlfriend. She Loves the Fast and Furious series, which I've actually never seen. She then told me she lives by the FF tagline, "Ride or Die" and that she has a hat with that slogan on it for when she needs a pick-me-up.

I didn't connect the two until later because, not only was I writing the homework sets in San Fran, but I was also watching my Parlour videos, some for the first time. And there again was the message; The Lovers: Ride or Die.

*mind explosion*

My friend and I...got together during my time there. We've been talking pretty exclusively for a couple months now, but we both decided we shouldn't make anything of it, because we live across the country from one another, and I'm moving for a new job even further away for a couple months. But we said if I were to ever move closer, we would keep that in our back pocket.  We've already made plans to do a cross country road trip and steal all the dogs together. Even if it's just a lot of silly talk, it's so much fun to have these kinds of "plans."

I don't recall ever pulling The Lovers card, and in my homework set, when it asked who my Ride or Die buddies were, I said I didn't have any. Just because I've never quite felt that huge pull before. I have amazing friends, don't get me wrong, but I'm a fairly lone character, and I dig it that way.

But of course, the day I return home from my trip, Tuesday the 11th, who is there to greet me?

*trumpet noise* BUM BA DA DA!

 

"The Soul's Deepest Need" 

Regardless of how this shakes out, maybe he's my soul's bestie. At least for the time being. I mean, how often is it that two people will not talk for over 5 years, only to fly cross country to spend time together?

That's kind of fucking awesome.

__________________________________________________________________________

So, for this post I also pulled a Goddess card. And I got Maeve AGAIN!

I don't know; I'm starting to think she likes me, guys.

She looks super relaxed, and dancing, like she's painting with her wand on the water.

I wonder what Cycles and Rhythms are coming for me...

Lots of Love,
Andy <3

Pick Three: Homework Set 2.5

Very simple assignment. Look through all your cards, and without necessarily looking for the names or meanings, pick 3 that call to you.

I looked through each card in the deck, setting aside all the ones that called to me in a pinch. Then from there, I looked through the actual photos, trying not to look at the name, and picked again until I got my three.

In the end, I actually ended up with four.

And they are........*drumroll*

VII The Chariot "Enjoy the Ride"
XIV Temperance "Love Transforms You"
8 of Pentacles "Apprenticeship"
II The Witch (High Priestess in more traditional decks) "Intuition will Reveal"

  

Now, The Witch was the cutoff. It was going to be just the three above her, but something was telling me not to put her away just yet.

Weirdly enough, I rarely pull any of these cards. I have pulled both the Chariot and Temperance before, but I think it was about two years ago when I first bought this deck. I thought hadn't pulled the 8 of Pentacles, but then I realized I've just never pulled it from this particular deck. This is the card I pulled and made a watercolor out of from my Dreaming Way Tarot.

 

It doesn't look like much, but it did help me remember the card.

After looking at just the three again, I realized that this was basically a reading. I'd just gone over the previous homeworks and learned what the Major Arcana meant so everything was still nice and fresh. 

The Chariot: I'm in control of my life and where I go from here.

Temperance: Balance is key to a happy and fulfilling life. 

8 of Pentacles: Apprenticeship, learning a new craft or skill.

I'm gonna sound like a broken record, but, I'm leaving soon to start a brand new job that I've been working towards for years. I'm finally getting to go where I want to go. And I keep referring to this new job as a paid vacation to my friends because the company is open basically 24/7 and I'm only going to work 40 hours a week. While I'm down there I have to learn how to function with only half of my week planned. Will I use my free time actually relaxing, or will I get another job like I've been thinking about? In my last post, when I went over the Temperance card, I said my perfect balance has more work than play. Maybe I'll learn to relax in the coming months; who knows? :)

_________________________________________________________________________

Now. When I was mulling over the best way to pick three cards, and the fact that it should be based on artwork, not technically meaning, I realized that I now own three decks.

My Main deck is Le Tarot Des Femmes Erotiques, with whom I've bonded greatly. 

My second is The Dreaming Way Tarot, with whom I've got an amiable relationship. 

And my third and newest deck is the Joie De Vivre tarot, which I just picked up on Monday on my last day of vacation! I opened her tonight specifically so I could do this...

I was going to discard immediate meanings, and pick one card from each deck so that I could see what was currently calling me without worrying about the artwork because they would all be different.

And THAT'S why I was holding on to my Witchy mama. She wasn't in my three, because she was my one; my individual.

I opened Joie de Vivre after setting aside my Femmes, and then looked through Dreaming Way.

Joie De Vivre,      Le Tarot Des Femmes Erotiques,      Dreaming Way

And who's that I see? Why, it's The High Priestess, the 'normal' equivalent to my Witch. And next? The Magician, of course!

Looks like I've got my two mystical parents looking over me this late night. I've got all the skills and drive I need to dance my way towards my heart's desire.

Have a lovely night,

Andy <3